Kingdom Hearts: Making Friends
by killerkomedy
Summary: In order to get revenge against Akatsuki for warping them to Duelist Kingdom, Sora, Kairi and Riku are granted the power to choose allies from any video game or anime. This is their  mostly Riku's  tale of choosing allies.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Again with the Journeys

Sora, Riku and Kairi return to their normal world. However, a familiar face appears before them. They act as if they have seen a ghost.

Sora: Ansem the Wise? But you're dead.

Ansem: Yes but for the sake of assisting you in you, I'm screwing the rules. Having littlekuriboh's Seto Kaiba does help though.

Kairi: Well what do we need to do?

Ansem: Thanks for offering me a seat, a drink and some sea salt ice cream bitch.

Riku: (Offers a seat, coffee and sea salt ice cream) Here you go. Now please tell us we can do something awesome.

Ansem: (Takes seat, coffee and sea salt ice cream) You guys will have to do something awesome to save the world.

Sora, Riku and Kairi jump for joy.

Sora: So what do we have to do?

Ansem: I could tell you, but it would be more fun to dramatically warp you to see our writer and deity, killerkomedy. (Waves his hands)

A dramatic warp sequence occurs….

Sora, Riku and Kairi appear before an awesome looking throne. killerkomedy looks like Larry Butz.

Kairi: God is Larry Butz? Kill me now.

killerkomedy: I would but the rules say I can't until I help you guys save yourselves.

Riku: So what's the awesome thing we have to do?

killerkomedy: You guys will use your knowledge as otakus to choose 4 party members. You 3 must lead your own teams. Ansem will be your guide through the dimensions of video games and anime. You guys may be Keyblade users, but you will need more against Akatsuki. Bye guys. I have warps to open (Departs)

Kairi: Akatsuki?

Ansem: Villains from the world of Naruto. Well now any questions?

Riku: If I used a computer here, would I be able to broadcast an announcement throughout dimensions?

Ansem: It should but you should ask master killerkomedy.

Riku: Ok. Guys you go pick your allies. I'll go last. (Runs off)

Sora: I wanna go first.

Kairi: (Smacks Sora) LADIES FIRST YOU IDIOT!

Ansem: You guys can go at the same time. Just think of a character, jump into a portal and ask nicely. (Creates 2 portals) Now go. And come back with your allies.

Sora and Kairi jump into portals.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Portal Hopping

BTW: This is the sequel to Kingdom Hearts: A Whole New World. Read it if you want to understand the beginning of this one.

Sora jumps into his portal. He decides to search for Roxas and winds up in Olympus Coliseum.

Sora: Hey Roxas. What are you doing here?

Roxas: I was training. What are you doing here?

Sora: Well I'm trying to find 4 party members to fight some bad guys.

Roxas: Can I join?

Sora:  Sure.

(Final Fantasy fanfare) Roxas joined Sora's party.

Sora: So what can you do?

Roxas: Everything you can do but I have two Keyblades. I'm stronger but your magic is better.

Sora: So where are Auron, Cloud and Hercules?

Roxas: Auron and Cloud read something amazing and left. Hercules is on trial for steroid charges.

Sora: Guess there's no one to ask here?

Roxas: Unless you want to ask Meg or Phil.

Sora: Why does my hollow shell have to be a wise ass?

Roxas: OATH TO OBLIVION! (Roxas slashes Sora with his Keyblades and forms a cross…cheesy I know)

Sora wakes up moments later.

Roxas: See Sora? Nobodies are the sombodies you don't mess with.

Sora: No more empty shell comments.

Roxas: Ok. Now let's go find some characters.

Sora: Let's get Leon, Aerith and Yuffie. (A portal appears)TO HOLLOW BASTION! (Jumps into a portal)

Roxas: Wait Sora! We need to…Whatever time to go. (Jumps into the portal)

Sora appears in Merlin's hose at Hollow Bastion. Cid and Merlin are home.

Merlin: My my Sora. How did you get in?

Sora: (explains the story) So where are Leon, Aerith and Yuffie?

Merlin: Well Leon got some announcement and ran off. Aerith and Yuffie were taken by another portal hopping teenager.

Roxas: Wonder who has Cloud, Auron, Leon, Aerith and Yuffie?

In Sora's imagination….

Riku: Hey Aerith how about you heal my HP with your magic if you know what I mean.

Aerith: Yes Master Riku. (Places her tits on Riku's face)

Riku: Yuffie. Look alive. Let's see your ninja powers at work.

Yuffie: Of course Master Riku. (Starts sucking his cock)

In reality…

Roxas: Sora I doubt that…

Sora: (Interrupts) Wait now for the guys. (His eyes bleed) MY GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME! (Starts crying and cutting himself with his Keyblade)

Roxas: OATH TO OBLIVION! (Knocks some sense into Sora) Now who can we recruit as a character?

Cid: Well if you guys need some muscle then I…

Sora: (interrupts) Tifa is my teacher at home. She would just wind up giving me homework. Or she's in Riku's orgy. Maybe I'll get Donald and Goofy.

Roxas: Wait Sora. We can hop to any video game or anime. Don't just use Kingdom Hearts worlds. Our team needs a strength/speed character, a long-range character and a mage/healer.

Cid: Well, I am pretty strong and I have a spear so…

Sora: (Interrupts) Let's try Zidane from Final Fantasy 9. (Jumps into a portal)

Roxas: He's starting to think but did he forget about the other characters in that game? (Follows)

How will their search for characters go? Will they just wind up losing characters to Riku and Kairi? Are they really having orgies right now? Find out on the next chapter…I think.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Smarter Decisions

Sora and Roxas arrive in Lindblum. They find Zidane at the bar crying.

Zidane: (sobbing) I AM NOT TOO GIRLY TO PARTICIPATE! WAAAAAH!

Roxas: Looks like he's busy. Let's go ask Vivi or…

Sora: (Interrupts) Let's ask Cinna or Marcus or…

Roxas: (Interrupts) SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TAKING FULL AUTHORITY NOW! OATH TO OBLIVION! (Knocks Sora unconscious)Wait I can portal to any anime or video game so I'll recruit main characters that can help Sora be a leader or outwit him. I'll try Kenshin.

Roxas and Sora warp to the Kamiya dojo and find Kaoru and Yahiko.

Roxas: Hey guys. Have you seen Kenshin?

Yahiko: Sorry but him, Sano, Aoshi and that Saito guy read some ad and left.

Kaoru: You could always recruit…

Yahiko: (Interrupts) They left Kaoru. You scared them off.

Kaoru: You're the useless character.

Yahiko: I fought the Flying Henya. Can you say you had a pretty good major battle? NO! All you did was get kidnapped.

Kaoru: (Knocks Yahiko unconscious) I'm sorry. What was that?

Roxas and Sora appear in the world of Bleach. They find Orihime.

Roxas: Hey where are the shinigami or Ishida or Chad?

Orihime: They left. They…

Roxas: Got it. (Leaves)

Due to laziness, killerkomedy will now summarize the rest of Roxas's troubles. Roxas wound up disappointed in the world of D-Gray Man only to find out that Allen, Kanda and General Cross left for this tournament. Roxas continued hopping from world to world, finding that badasses were going off to "a tournament." Sora eventually woke up and new teammates (or nakama for the weeabos)

Goku (Dragonball Z), Inuyasha (Inuyasha) and Laguna Loire (Final Fantasy 8)

Roxas: This setup is perfect. Goku can fight in the frontlines or fire energy beams from far away. Laguna is a jack-of-all-trades character with a machine gun, so the three of us can balance healing. Inuyasha is a pretty good swordsman and has his demon form.

Sora: You really couldn't find Vegeta or Sesshomaru or someone cool?

Roxas: They went to some tournament, even the badass girls.

Sora now pictures Kairi the lesbian, doing it with Claymores, Jo from Burst Angel, Sango from Inuyasha, Raye from Sailor Moon and other badass anime girls.

Sora: (crying) KAIRI'S CHEATING ON ME WITH GIRLS? WHY IS EVERYTHING HAPPENING TO ME NOW THAT DISNEY GAVE UP ITS OWNERSHIP OF US (ok this really didn't happen in real life btw)?

Inuyasha: Oh am I not good enough for the crybaby?

Goku: Seriously if this adventure didn't sound better than dealing with my family, I would leave from that rude comment.

Laguna: Hey, I'm so cool that someone compressed time to save my life.

Roxas: Let's just go check up on the others. (Portal appears) Let's go.

Everyone enters the portal to head back to killerkomedy's world.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Prepare Yourselves

Sora, Roxas, Goku, Inuyasha and Laguna arrive at killerkomedy's world.

Ansem: It seems you have chosen your allies. Hope you all will play nice together.

Roxas: Unfortunately, this guy is my original self.

Goku: Hope I can face some strong enemies.

Inuyasha: I was bored after kicking Naraku's ass anyways.

Laguna: Let's mess shit up.

Killerkomedy: It seems Kairi is about to arrive.

Kairi arrives with Tifa (FF7), Orihime (Bleach), Yuffie (FF7) and Lulu (FF10). Sora and Roxas have a massive nosebleed. Goku, Inuyasha and Laguna introduce themselves.

Kairi: (Slaps Sora silly) YOU BETTER NOT GET ANY IDEAS!

Goku: Hey nice team you got there. This Tifa seems tougher than my wife and kids. She might make a better sparring partner.

Roxas: Nice setup you got.

Kairi: Namine helped me out. I have Tifa as my strength character. Yuffie as my long range fighter. Both of them can use Materia to help. Orihime as my healer and can shoot out a splitting shield. Lulu as my mage.

Sora: (Wakes up) Where's Riku?

Riku: (Enters) Let's all go out to the patio to see the fruits of my efforts.

They go outside and find a crowd of anime/video game badasses.

Riku: Hello everyone. You have applied and I have accepted you. Of all 64 of you standing here, only four of you will become my party members. There's only one way to prove your badassness. You will all do battle in a tournament.

The badasses cheer.

This chapter will now end so that you can now climax as if you were a Korean witnessing the release of Starcraft II. (No offense. I only use racism for humor)

Feel free to suggest any badasses you want to see in this fanfic. Spread the word.


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